How to take control of your fears

There are currently no methods to make us fearless. But there is a trick that will allow you to put a leash on your fears in order to control them and, perhaps, even fall in love a little.

Afraid to get to know yourself

Are you familiar with how fear actually works? Consider the fear of the dark, for example. Ask anyone who is experiencing it why they are afraid of her. The answer will be something like this: I do not know what is in it.

Based on the answer, one can understand that people are afraid not of the darkness itself, but of the unknown and what is in their heads. And so with almost any fear. People are not afraid of public speaking, not making a mistake and not failing an interview, left without money, we are afraid of what is in our head.

You need to be familiar with your fear – this is, first of all, familiarity with your head. When dealing with fear, think of it as networking with yourself.

Reception to stop being afraid

One of the easiest ways to overcome fear is: Are you afraid of this? So go and do just that! When people consciously immerse themselves in fearful situations, their fears often disappear.

Many observed the following situation in various courses, the participants are afraid to publish their first texts on social networks and, in general, are afraid to show them to someone. But when the work is published, these fears disappear.

We are convinced that this method is not suitable for everyone, there are often people who are immobilized by the words “Do what you are afraid” even more than before they were uttered. For them, the method of systematic desensitization is suitable, invented by psychologist Joseph Wolpe. The point of the technique is to get rid of fear by making a substitution for the opposite state.

Three stages of getting rid of fear

In order to replace fear with any pleasant sensation, you need to go through three stages:

1. Write down all situations in which you experience anxiety:

Take a piece of paper and write from your strongest fear to your weakest. Take the first one on the list and start working with it.

For example, let’s use the most popular fear – the fear of speaking in front of the public.

2. Come up with a pleasant incentive:

Psychologist Wolpe suggests performing muscle relaxation. The goal is to alternately tense and relax the muscles of different parts of the body. Next, you need to describe your feelings of tension and relaxation.

Try to clench your fingers into a fist now. Feel how tight the muscles are getting. How fingers rest on the palm. Where is the thumb – inside the fist or outside. Now relax your hand. How do you feel in your fingers now?

If the training is constant, such an exercise can be easily performed with any muscles in the body.

You can come up with your own personal incentive. For example, some speakers present the audience without clothes to reduce anxiety.

3. Get down to business:

In order to overcome fear, you need to place yourself in a situation that is very similar to a frightening one, and demonstrate a pleasant stimulus to yourself.

Conquer fear gradually. If you are afraid of public speaking, you do not need to sign up as a speaker at a large forum. Start spending evenings with friends, gradually invite new people. Gradually become the star of the party. Do not forget about a pleasant incentive every time.

The important thing here is to really relax. Perhaps what you feared the most will become your cherished goal or passion.